My Move To LA

No one likes a trip to the DMV but you have no idea what kind of hell it can be until you've spent ten hours on three separate visits at the Los Angeles DMV. I know my situation was complicated by the fact that I was changing my name (finally, after being married nearly two years!) but the California DMV made it extra difficult.

On my first visit, after waiting in a line that extended out the doors and into the parking lot, I presented a certified copy of my Colorado marriage license which was laughed at by the demon behind the desk! He told me it looked like a souvenir and sent me away. I called the Adams County clerk and recorder thinking they had mistakenly given me the wrong type of document but they insisted that was the only document I should need for my name change.

I went back to the L.A. DMV armed with the reassurance from Adams County and my only original marriage license (which I was advised not to use since its THE ORIGINAL). This time I showed up early and the line had only reached the doors so at least I didn't have to wait in the sun. I should note that this is the preliminary line that you wait in to get your number, then wait some more, then get in another line, and wait some more...

So my number finally gets called and I go up to the counter with the false expectation that I'm actually going to get things taken care of. The guy tells me that even my original marriage certificate won't do. WTF?! By this time I'm nearing a meltdown and I probably looked like I might kill someone if he didn't accept my documents. Still, we went back and forth, I raised my voice, he hobbled around looking for a manager to approve my Colorado marriage certificate -- which apparently looks like a cheap attempt at forgery to Californians -- and finally someone accepted it! But my stint in purgatory didn't end there, oh no.

I spent the next FOUR HOURS waiting in line after line to get my driver's license. Every step of the way I went through distinct phases of calm that turned to rage and calm again, always trying to remind myself that my patience would pay off only to be shuffled into another line.

The worst of it was after taking the written test (something you have to do if you're relocating from out of state) we weren't allowed to sit, talk, read, or use our cell phones while we waited in line to have our tests graded. During that time I saw the help behind the desk go from three slowly moving, chatty old ladies to one slowly moving grumpy old lady. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I actually had to bite down HARD on my lip to keep from acting out! Other people muttered curse words in various languages, some brave souls snuck some text messaging in to pass the time, and one old man mastered the art of falling asleep while standing up. Thank God I passed the test because I don't think I could handle going through that again! But that was only my second visit, I said there were three...

I had also planned on getting our car's registration taken care of which I had done all on my own when we first registered it in Colorado but of course it couldn't be that easy in California. I had been so diligent in making sure I had every piece of documentation (and then some) to complete the registration but I was still sent away! Apparently because the car is in both mine and Dominic's names we both needed to be there to have it registered!

When we went back together the fiasco we encountered was just too ridiculous to even recount. Just be forewarned if you're relocating to Cali from out of state: the DMV here is the worst in the Universe! Best of luck.