My Move To LA

With Kid Rock and David Furnish.

Funny.

http://www.perezhilton.com/

Please excuse my language but OH MY FUCK is West Hollywood crazy on Halloween. Nicole and I were invited to a house party just off of Santa Monica Blvd and Doheny on Halloween night. It was one of Nicole's coworkers so it was very mild mannered and I was only slightly uncomfortable with some of the completely over the top gayness (mainly a mummy asking me to take my shirt off even though I assured him my torso looks like Walter Matthau's face).

After being asked to leave the party by the host so it could get inappropriately gay we wandered down a few blocks to Santa Monica Blvd which had been closed for the occasion. We just happened to break into the crowd right in front of a fancy techno club where there were lots of gay men dressed in lingerie who seemed to have taken a lot of drugs. They were covered in sweat telling each other how pretty they were. We decided to march on to the other end of Santa Monica Blvd where the people we were with knew of a bar with no cover. Getting through the crowd proved to be a difficult task. Trying to avoid Egyptian Pharaohs, S & Ms, men as sexy women (complete with breast implants!) and guys wearing nothing but underwear and heels proved to be impossible while wearing my costume (will post pic soon); a perp from the show Cops. We managed to make it to the bar only to find it was so packed there were people hanging out the windows.

Not really being in the mood to drink Nicole and I decided to bid our friends adieu and head back to the scooter. On our way back we saw some of the best costumes of all time. One of our favorites was a guy dressed like a used car salesman with a loudspeaker asking ladies and gentlemen to step right up to witness the drunkest bear in the world. When we pushed our way through the crowd we saw a guy in a full bear costume just rolling around on the ground making terrible moaning noises. Another fun group were five guys all dressed up in perfect mummy costumes walking through the crowd saying, "Mummy! Muuuummy! Mummy!" and grabbing at people. We also saw Cheddar Bob (Evan something) from 8 Mile dressed in a child's skeleton costume and so drunk he couldn't light a cigarette.

I will definitely be going to witness the chaos again next year.

Like everything else in Hollywood, Christmas is all about extreme excess. Since Dominic and I both work with some of the wealthiest people on the planet we've had a first hand peek at just how obscene Christmas out here can be.

My colleagues had informed me that Christmas at our school is a big deal and that I would be receiving many gifts but I had NO IDEA it would be like this! I thought little ol' me might get a few gift cards, some cookies, maybe a candle or two. What I ended up with was more than I could ever imagine seeing at Christmas.

At first, I was apprehensive about receiving gifts from the families since gift giving/receiving is not my favorite thing about Christmas, but the school sent out this letter informing the parents that we appreciate their thoughtfulness but gifts would not be necessary. The letter resonated with my views on Christmas and I thought it would be a powerful deterrent but in the end I received gifts from 49 of the 60 families I work with! Some were small and thoughtful, others were big and thoughtful, and some were just obscene! I received them all graciously and am VERY thankful for the gift cards as they will help Dominic and I through a financial squeeze.

As grateful as I am for all the gifts I've received, I can't help but feel uneasy about this tradition of material gifts. My misgivings were affirmed when the "Spirit of Giving" showed its ugly side on Christmas eve.

Prepared to spend the day together Dominic and I were interrupted by his work (his firm does interior design for the rich and famous). He received several frantic phone calls about a side table that needed to be under a certain potty-mouthed celebrity's tree ASAP or there would be hell to pay. A cluster fuck ensued that resulted in Dominic having to pick up the $8,000 side table and delivering it to the delivery guys who were waiting for paint to dry on another piece of furniture for the same family.

During the fiasco I had to play middle man to some phone calls and I asked Dominic's coworker if these celebrities knew that no matter how much money they have it still takes time for paint to dry, and side tables to fly across the ocean? He informed me that they know it but it won't stop them from raising hell about the fact that [Dominic's firm] didn't make it happen faster. And it didn't matter what had to happen or who had to sacrifice, those tables had to make it to their destination by Christmas day because December 25th is so God damned special that if the $8,000 table couldn't be unwrapped on that day it might as well be sent back and Christmas 2008 would be ruined for one multi-millionaire family.

Through hell and high water the pieces arrived by Christmas and the Spirit of Giving is alive and well in one celebrity home, though they may never know how many little people were stepped on and abused to make it happen. Merry Christmas!

I try hard to keep this blog an honest and respectable read. Sometimes cool things happen that might make me sound pretentious or "Hollywood" if I post about them so I usually keep them to myself. Without a doubt my only celebrity interaction is just a result of my (our) job(s).

Anyway, at the risk of sounding douchebagish, I'm going to quickly say that the coolest thing to happen while moving to West Hollywood was being welcomed to the neighborhood by Ioan Gruffudd. I've decided that part of the intent of this blog (as well as my blog started in college) is to help me remember all these little events that make up life's wonderful adventures. Had I not moved to LA I would have not been welcomed to the neighborhood by Ioan and I'd probably still be in Denver. Only now I'd have no job and a mortgage we couldn't afford.

And that is worth remembering.

If anyone reads this silly blog and takes anything from it it's that you should follow your heart. I knew coming here wouldn't be easy and I was totally prepared for failure but something more was waiting for me here in LA. I threw caution to the wind, told my wife to shut up and packed all our crap into a truck and drove west.

I've learned more about life and architecture (my profession for anyone that doesn't know me) in the last seven months than I ever could have learned in Denver in five years.

Thank you LA for being so good to me.

My coworker Jim mentioned a while back that about five years ago he would often see Jeff Goldblum at his gym and out of the hundreds of people there he was the only one who worked out with his shirt off (and continuously stared at himself in the mirror).

Well, this morning I was leaving the weight room and I see Mr. Goldblum sitting on the end of a bench doing dumbell curls while staring at himself in the mirror. He did have a shirt on but I like to see that he hasn't changed much.

If you live in or near LA you have to attend the West Hollywood Halloween mayhem at least once. I can't begin to describe the level of insanity that goes on. I was made aware this year that neer-do-wells do hang out off of the main streets waiting to roll drunk people so be careful when you do attend.

This year I made some Dia De Los Muertos masks for us (because I have that kind of time). You can see a few pictures of the process at a link below if you're interested. We started out at one of Nicole's coworker's parties just a block up from Santa Monica Blvd where unfortunately the amount of vodka and whiskey we consumed prevented us from taking any decent pictures of the costumes on the blvd. There were lots of swine flus, Watchmen and the typical dead things you see every year but the only costume I was really impressed with was a giant inflated foil balloon in the shape of a UFO and the guy inside of (wearing) it was telling us his name is Falcon and that "Daddy said we did it for the show".

And now for the good pictures we do have:

I think he asked Scott out. It's good to know Scott has options if he ever needs them.

I don't remember their names but they were foreign and really funny.

Some well done Dia de los Muertos face paint.

Is the girl on the right having a pee?

Click below to see how I made the Dia de los Muertos masks.

I think it's fun seeing celebrities and usually try and make a post about it when I do see one. Today I saw Steve Sanders at the gym. Alright, you may know him as Ian Ziering but I can't recall seeing him in anything but that role on 90210. He still looks the same. How is that possible? Good genes I guess. Lucky!

As some of you may know I've been a huge fan of Adam Carolla for a long time (since the MTV Loveline days). I've always wanted to see him perform but the thing is he doesn't perform. He only does TV and radio. Sad, but I guess it makes it easier to listen to more of his material when I can get it for free. Over the years I've learned all about his parents, upbringing, childhood friends and coworkers.

If you've been a recent fan of his podcast you'll know that the guy who ran the boards on his morning show (who was also a good friend), Bald Bryan as the call him, was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. Shortly before he was diagnosed the whole radio station 93.3 was canceled and Adam, along with the rest of the morning show staff, lost their jobs. Bryan was lucky enough to maintain his insurance at the time of diagnosis but he nor his wife could bring in any income. So, in stepped Adam Carolla and friends to the rescue. In addition to their large donations they held a benefit show that tickets could be purchased for. It was $100 for general admission and $300 for VIP admission.

Having recently lost my job I really wanted to go but couldn't justify spending $200 on tickets and I sadly watched it sell out. That's when a friend of Adam's and a parent at Nicole's school named Dana Gould happened to mention it to Nicole and she said we couldn't afford it. He said he'd see what he could do and the next morning she got an email saying we could pick up our tickets at the door.

I figured we got a pair of nosebleed seats which I was astounded to get in the first place but it turned out we got the whole VIP treatment. Amazing. Now to just scrape together some cash and make a donation on Bald Bryan's website so I don't feel like a complete jerk for going to a show to benefit a guy with brain cancer for free.

We were lucky enough to get a whole bunch of pictures and talk with most of the people involved with the Adam Carolla show. I had a really good conversation with Adam's old friend Ray and he's a much nicer guy than Adam paints him to be. Donny too. And Teresa Strasser showed us pictures of her new baby on her iphone!

What a night. I can't thank Dana Gould enough. Now for the awesome pictures:

Bryan Bishop, Nicole and I

Adam Carolla and I

Donny, Nicole and I (one of Adam's best friends and the editor of his show)

Teresa Strasser and Nicole

Ray Oldhafer and I. I think he decided to show Nicole that he really has 8% body fat.

Dana Gould growling at me.

Nicole eating sushi off of a naked girl.

Ziggy Socky, Ziggy Socky, Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!

Trader Joe's is the best grocery store on the planet. Even Brian Tee shops there.

Ok, so technically this has almost nothing to do with Los Angeles but this is my blog and I'll post about whatever I want to...

In college I discovered a struggling band that happened to make music I really identified with. The guys in the band where all about my age and I like to think if I had any kind of musical talent I would have been making music very similar to theirs. Many concerts later these same guys agreed to play our upcoming wedding but it happened to be just days before the release of their album that ended up going double platinum. Needless to say they didn't play our wedding and I don't blame them.

You're going to think less of me but that band was Fall Out Boy. Since going mainstream and seducing millions of tween girls I have grown rather shameful when listening to their music. It's still some of the best I've ever heard mind you, it's just that I can't stand knowing I've got the same musical tastes as the girls who vote on TRL. For whatever it's worth, I can say that I did find them before they became teen idols.

At any rate, Nicole and I have been waiting for the day they break up and our favorite member of the band goes solo. Well, today I learned that exactly that has happened and I couldn't be more excited: